The Ultimate Weapon
Rejoice my dear warriors around the world – warriors for peace, warriors for security, warriors for justice, warriors for your homeland, warriors against terror, warriors for God, warriors for jihad, crusaders and soldiers. Rejoice because victory is near and imminent. You now have in your possession the ultimate weapon.
The weapon is Love.
It is a stealth weapon. Your opponents will be unable to fire a single shot at you. As soon as they know you are in possession of this weapon, they will be disarmed and surrender to you. Throw away those armored personnel carriers, bulletproof vests and missile defenses – you will not need them.
It achieves maximum effect by destroying the real enemy (fear), without losing a single life or limb to collateral damage. The use of this weapon will save far more lives than not using it. There will be no casualties, war orphans or war veterans with dismembered limbs.
It is a very flexible weapon. You can conduct surgical strikes with great precision. Alternatively, you can win over entire nations in a single strike. It is guaranteed to be 100% effective on contact.
It is a chemical weapon and at the same time very biological. It quickly consumes everyone in an unstoppable chain reaction. For maximum effect, highly enriched raw material is recommended – make sure it is not contaminated with loathing, insecurity, greed, fear or mistrust. The enrichment process is a lot of fun and requires no centrifuges or processing facilities. Simple introspection, empathy, understanding and a flexible mindset are all tools that you require.
You always have superior intelligence when you use possess this weapon. You will quickly identify the real enemy in a moment. Enemy agents in your organization will be exposed in the enrichment process. Those who use this weapon always have the highest morale. Anyone can be well trained and equipped easily. Carrying it around makes their gear lighter. In fact, it puts a spring in their step.
No arms-control is required. Proliferation of this weapon is a good thing. Any number of soldiers that can be equipped – even civilians can be heavily armed, in fact most already are. It is well known that sporting this weapon makes you irresistible.
The weapon is very cost effective. The raw materials are easily available. Manufacturing and testing fills you with complete joy. Satisfaction guaranteed. Deployment costs nothing and there are no running costs either.
This weapon holds a huge market-share. Most people are heavily dependent on it for their peace and security. It has earned its reputation. It makes the world go around. Can you afford to be without it?
The author is a free agent for ‘Humanity’, your trusted and reliable source for ‘Love’. We urge you to use Love irresponsibly. There are no age limits for using this product. Do not be fooled by cheap imitations. Use as your heart directs. We strongly recommended that you use the ‘maximum dosage all the time’. There are no copyrights on this product. We urge you to make as many copies as you can and freely distribute them to everyone. We are looking for people to use and market this product. No previous experience necessary. Everyone is qualified. It is the best job available.